SOCIAL MEDIA

26 October 2016

'I'LL START NEXT MONDAY'


Hello lovelies, firstly apologies for the rubbish quality picture but it's my excited I lost 8lb in a week face and got myself an award! Ok, so anyone who knows me knows I have been a yo-yo dieter since, well since forever. I have NEVER ever been happy with my body, I was a slender 10/12 before children and was I happy then? NO , stupid cow! Haha, back before kids I used to say to my family and friends and boy did I annoy them 'Why am I so fat, I need to loose weight'. I've always been the tallest friend and most curviest, well before children when I had a whole group of friends, they died out and so did the nights out and so did my self esteem even more!


So, another thing worrying me about posting this is I'm not posting positivity to anyone's body images, firstly I love everyone whatever size they are whether your a size 26 or a 6, but ME, I have an issue with, will that size 10 make me feel better about myself again? I don't know, probably not but it's got to be better than what I'm feeling now, I have let myself go big time since having my children, yes I have got two amazingly gorgeous baby boys out of putting on about 6 stone but its time to change! Also being in a very happy relationship were your comfortable with each other we have both piled on the pounds, Dan loves me for me thank-fully, he's always joked about us needing to loose weight together but said he would never want me to change unless it was purely just for myself. I was in New look one day and nothing in the shop fit me, that size 18? Nope, I was devastated, I've never been a size 18 in my whole entire life I wanted to cry, I just left the shop and thought enough is enough, I want to feel sexy again and feel comfortable in clothes rather than wearing the baggiest clothes which probably make me look even more bigger! My boobs are humungous, I'm adamant they weigh at least two stone each haha, at least it makes me feel a little better jesting about that. But on a serious note I know a label size shouldn't define who we are, I just want my double chin gone, my over hanging vile stomach and some bounce back in my step.

I want to run after my children without getting out of breath after 2 seconds, I want to run up the stairs without feeling like I'm about to collapse when I get to the top. I want to do the cowgirl position without feeling knackered after two minutes (tmi) but more importantly I just want to feel a little like me again. 

I re-joined slimming world for the millionth time the tenth of October and already I am feeling so much better, no take aways for two weekends, no scoffing my face with share bags of crisps and share chocolate bars and the rest! I'm eating healthier than ever before and my snacks now consist of pink lady apples (my absolute faves) , grapes and muller light yoghurts! I'm also never hungry so I'm not snacking on junk food through boredom, my stomach gets full quicker, I'm never hungry around lunch time but I make sure I push myself to eat something, I'm moving more and actually feel a little lighter in myself. I've lost 11 and a half pounds in two weeks already so praying for at leat a 2 and a half pound loss next Monday so I get my 1st stone award, I was over the moon to get my half a stone award in my first week though as you can see from my picture above. There is no way I am going back now, I was a shocking 18stone 5lb when I started, no one believes me! I obviously hide it well and to be honest I don't care what the scales say I just want to finally be able to go in the changing room and be like look at you, look how far you've come and you look banging in that LBD. 

It does scare me that people take these posts in the wrong context and I know I need to work on myself on the inside as well as the outside as I know my weight gain isn't just an issue its my inner confidence and just to let people know, I look up to a range of different people, I have so many plus size bloggers on my Instagram and I'm like gurrrrl you look SO good where did you get that jacket? I'm jealous of their confidence, style and beauty and I look up to that size 8 gym bunny who works her ass of every day to get that amazing body. I honestly don't give two hoots what size anyone else is, I have friends and family all shapes and sizes I love them for them but weight has always been an issue for me, when I was younger I went a whole week without eating wanting to be thin, at my thinest I have no idea what I weighed as I was never someone to weigh myself I just craved that thin look but I looked so ill and gaunt, I'm 5ft8 so you can imagine I pretty much looked like a rake and now I am at my biggest, I want to be in the middle, curvy, sassy and looking fabulous. I have broad shoulders and a Kim K booty, well it needs some work obviously but it's big, I used to hate having a big bum but now I'm actually embracing this feature, people pay for an ass like mine! One step at a time. I just wanted to document this post really for myself and to remind myself why I'm doing this and to not quit again. Staying to group and sticking to the actual group is key, for years I tried doing it alone I just can't, I've found fabulous Facebook groups too, they have been so helpful and Instagram slimming worlders they are an amazing inspiration, I will be putting up my inspirational ladies on here very soon and I'm also thinking of doing some weekly food plans, recipes, also checking in with how I've done that week. 

Sorry if this totally bored you, if you got this far give yourself a big tap on the back and thank you! I just needed to get it all out. Every day is a new day, it's hard but nothing you really want in life is easy, I'm working hard every day and I know that one day it will all be worth it, a happy and healthier me, here goes. I can't wait to start posting before and after pictures, I'm going to do them monthly, I'm shitting myself but It will motivate me more I am sure, not sure I'll see a huge difference in the first month but the pictures will tell. 

If you're a slimming worlder and you have Instagram please leave it in the comments below.

2 comments :

  1. Well done Paige! I am so proud of you!!

    www.denajayne.co.uk

    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Dena babe, need your fitness motivation now! xxx

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