Mummy Monday - Why I love being a mum.

Hello lovelies, today I'm going to share with you all why I love being a mum. Inspired by SprinkleofGlitter's post and my own thoughts also, I have been wanting to do a post like this for a while but never got round to it. I am also going to be doing this every Monday something to do with being a mum or what me and Oscar have been up to. Basically anything to do with me or Oscar maybe even add Dan into the mix if he's lucky aha. My friend Jessica suggested it and what a great idea it is ;).

♥ When ever I'm having the worst day possible where you just want to cry all I have to do is look at him and he melts my heart.

♥ It makes you appreciate time, when I was younger time seemed to go so slow now it goes way too fast, like it seems only a few days ago I was pushing for 3 and a half hours and my little boy was here now he's almost 2! What the? Every day is an adventure and were both learning new things, I love what every day brings for us both. 

♥ It makes you appreciate the littlest things in life, like having a cup of tea and a book to yourself, a bath to yourself or getting ready for hours now it's more like ten minutes unless he's napping.

♥ I don't need to worry about being late for work! It was a good job Oscar woke me up the other day as I had half an hour to get ready or I would have been very late. So thank's for that, although you don't get to have lie in's till stupid o'clock in the day like I used to but lie-ins are so over rated, hmm.

♥ I get to buy super cute clothing, I couldn't wait to find out the sex so I could immediately go out shopping for him/her. I don't know how people keep it a surprise, fair play to them but I just couldn't. I'm not a massive fan of surprises though plus I like to be moderately organized, you have to be prepared for your first ever baby. I used to think that girls clothing was much more better but you can get such stylish and super cute clothing for boys now too. I love Next, Gap, H&M and even Primark, Tesco and Asda have great clothing to offer. 

♥ You get to play at soft splay, only if your a big kid like me of-course. You know you wan't to go on my lap down that massive slide Oscar, or crawl through that tunnel and star jump in the ball pit. Or is that Just me? You're lying.

♥ Oscar does unbelievably cute things and is constantly making me laugh and smile I could just stare at him all day.

♥ Every day I thank God (In my head) how lucky I am to have this amazing person in my life, how do I even deserve this amazing little boy.

♥ Your always learning, teaching each other new things. He teaches me a totally different language I have never come across and constantly makes me laugh and I try to teach him English in return. 

♥ You get the best cuddles and kisses ever that warm your heart and soul, literally makes me so proud and happy every time he runs up to me and put's his arms out and sticks his lips out for a kiss like a pout it's adorable.

♥ I am lucky because Oscar slept so well from about 6 weeks old, 12 hours, sometimes even more and that's not including the mid day nap! He always wakes up with a massive smile and put's his arms out for me to reach him out and runs to the kitchen as he knows its milk and breakfast time. He also makes me laugh when I say 'bath' he runs straight to the bathroom and stands by the bath bless him.

♥ You get family days out, if your lucky enough to still be with your partner it just feels wonderful all being together enjoying each others company and getting to experience different places every weekend/month or whatever.

There are so many reasons to love being a mom I can't pin point them all but what I do know is I am the most luckiest woman alive to have such a beautiful well behaved boy that I love so much, I am so proud and couldn't be any happier. Considering I was never overly keen about children, I did want them further along down the line but you can't plan your life out. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I am so glad Oscar has came into mine and Dan's life he has made it so complete and I count my lucky stars every night, I don't know what I would do without him now.

Are you a Mummy or a Parent if so what are your favorite things?

Any recommendations on days out?

JANUARY IN A NUTSHELL

Hello lovelies, it's been a while since I've done a post like this. So today I just thought I would do a round up of my January, I failed at most things I wanted to pursue in January not going to lie it was more of a practise month for me, anyone else? 

JANUARY ROUND UP

Hello lovelies, it's finally February! Didn't January seem to hang around forever?! I'm so glad it's gone, it always seems to linger longer than it should, it's been absolutely freezing too. We did manage to get some lovely days out though considering we were all really poor after christmas haha!

So at the very beginning of January just before the kids went back to school we headed to Winter Funlad at the NEC in Birmingham, we managed to get an amazing price for the tickets at just £60 on groupon. They should have been £100 and after going I would have paid the full price as it was well worth it! We walked in and the kids faces lit up, there was so much choice of rides for little ones to bigger ones. There was every fair ground ride you can think of, bouncy castles, bouncy castles with slides, an ice rink, helter skelter, bumper cars, a very large slide, a circus show and an amazing stunt bike show. There was also an area just for arts and crafts and lego building, horse riding (toy horses) and lots of food stalls. We had an amazing day out there and can't wait to go back! Were definitely going to go back there next year but nearer to Christmas next time as they also have the grotto there too!

We have been on family bike rides! Me and Dan both wanted to loose a bit of timber, getting healthier for our mind and body so I've been walking lots more! Wether it be family walks, on my own or with friends. I have loved walks up our local forestry commision and the bike rides I tolerated haha!

We took the kids to Inflatanation at Telford, its not as big as the one in Birmingham but it's just as good! The kids had a fab time and I wish me and Dan took part to be honest, we will next time! It's only £10 an hour and its jsut opposite the parking for the indoor shopping centre right next to Primark.

We took the kids to Dudley Zoo again another bargain on Groupon, any one else absolutely love Groupon for a bargain?! It was £30 for a family ticket, Dan doesnt usually like zoos but he loved it there. It has the castle too and its such a lovely walk all the way around. Our absolute favourite is the snow leopard, shes absolutley stunning! We took a picnic there and loved seeing all the animals.

Oscars been goign to his Football club and really enjoying it and improving every week. I've taken Lawson to a party this month from one of the lads in his class, I turned down birthday cake three times this month! Two of my friends at work had their birthdays this month.

Oscar had to have a couple of days of school this month due to a chest infection and he always seems to be off when they're doing something exciting, so not wanting him to miss out I let him have his pizza of choice at home on school pizza day and let him design his own pizza box turning an empty one inside out for him. He absolutley loved this activity, we then chilled together watching Encanto! Absolutely fabulous film if you haven't already seen it, jsut be aware the songs will be stuck in your head! "We don't talk about Bruno". If you know, you know.

Then the last weekend in January we went to Lichfield, we visited Samuel Johnsons birthplace Museum, had a mooch around the shops then had lunch and headed to Beacon Park. We had an hour and half of fun even though it was freezing and played mini golf there, Lawson got a hole in one on the last course!

I'm really looking forward to February half time now for a well deserved rest and fun with the kids.

I've lost just over a stone this month calorie counting and really pleased with myself, I've been enjoying cooking again, especially using the Pinch Of Nom books and walking. It's been a very long month but we've had some lovely days out in there.

MUMMY MONDAY | WEEKENDS ARE MY FAVOURITE

Hello lovelies, I know weekends are everyones favourite but they are mine because I get to spend time with all my boys together! We go to soft ball places, forests, garden centres, shopping, cinema, snow dome, bowling, play football, ride bikes, play with toys, make things, learn new things, watch movies inside, make tents, have sleepovers, most of all new adventures!

Mini Body Shop Haul.

Hello lovelies, sorry i haven't posted in a few days had a very random couple of days! My boyfriends friend had two spare tickets to go to Amsterdam so we thought it would be rude not to turn down the offer. So that's what I've been up to! Hope everyone's having a good start to a new week. I was happy to come home to Oscar and my body shop order.

I thought why not make the most of there online offer of 50% off then a further 40% off too. Plus free delivery. I only got a few things as I have so many things I need to get through but couldn't resist. 'slaps wrists' 
So this is what I got,

Spa wisdom - Morocco Black olive & Argon oil Scrub.

I've always wanted to try out Body shop's spa range and this looked so luxurious. It smells absolutely divine, it looks like it would be really sticky in the picture but it most definitely isn't! It's very smooth with little micro beads. I am very much looking forward to testing this out tonight in a nice hot bath. I love the little pot it comes in, once I have finished with the scrub I will be recycling this for another use. I know you can make so many home made remedies these days for body scrubs, which is lovely and I am wanting to do but the whole spa bit about it really enticed me in. Shall write a review once I have used it for a bit.

Buriti baby soft wash cloth

Supposedly for babies but it's for me, I love using wash cloths to cleanse and polish my face, my Emma Hardie one being my favourite. But thought I would see how this one is I imagined it to be nice and soft as it's for babies so shall be testing this out tonight also. It is lovely and soft so all good so far. Also has a really cute bird detail on it.

Coconut Shower Cream

I love my shower creams, there luxurious and feel so good on your skin in the shower, this was a huge bargain of £1.80!! I could not believe it. I love the smell of coconuts especially in Summer as it smells like holidays to me. Makes me feel all good inside I was going to say when rubbing it all over me but it sounds a bit sordid. Haha but nether the less it is beautiful stuff. If you like the smell of coconuts I recommend you have a good whiff of it.

Love abit of lemon.

Sweet Lemon Lip Butter & Lemon Body Butter

I adore the smell of lemon, so citrusy and fresh! I have been wanting to try out the lemon lip butter for ages but always put it off as i have about 4 lip balms in my handbag already but as there was a sale i just couldn't resist any longer the urge out did me. I am loving it already just after one application but lets see if its beneficial also for my dry lips.

The Lemon butter I am very pleased with as I love Body shops butters on a whole as there so nourishing and feel fantastic on your skin but this time it's LEMON and £3.00! You can't really get much better than that when you love the smell of lemon as much as I do. So I am also dying to use this tonight after a nice hot soak in the bubble bath.

I don't know if this is because I got a body shop card but I got a free gift! How lovely after all this stuff for so cheap.

Peppermint Smoothing Pumice Foot Scrub

Couldn't have got a better free gift if I'd asked to be honest, my feet aren't in the greatest shape at the minute. It's a chore to me to do feet I know we should all look after our feet as we are always on them but I just always forget to pamper them. I vow from now on to do so though especially as I have this to try out. It smells gorgeous with the strong peppermint scent. A very substantial size to try out too most freebies are little tiddly samples. So this again will be used tonight. I'm going to feel awesome with all these products to try out, pamper heaven!

I know its not lots of products but I am very pleased with them all and really looking forward to testing them all out tonight. On top of joining the Body shop rewards card, for just an annual payment of £5 you get...

10% off purchases for a year

A birthday gift*, to the value £5. Simply come in-store during your birthday month to collect

A free product, to the value £5, on your 4th stamp* (available on in-store purchases only)

A free product, to the value £10, on your 8th stamp* (available on in-store purchases only)

Invitations to exclusive member events

Exclusive offers and special savings

News of product launches and updates on what's happening in our stores and online

The Body Shop Rewards Card

Am I making any of you jealous with my pamper session tonight? What are your favourite Body shop products?

Decembers Glossy Box.

Hello lovelies, today I have for you Decembers Glossy Box full of 'festive treasures'.

I love the Christmassy December box, My type of Christmas tree! Gorgeously wrapped in adorable candy cane tissue paper with green shreds. So Christmassy and pretty. Now what was inside?

Beautiful Movements Cosmetics - Nude Lip Gloss

A 4ml cute little lipgloss very handy to squeeze in your over bulging make up bag or the little pocket in your handbag that is useful for nothing, but now this. It is a gorgeous shade, the perfect nude for an everyday flush of colour with a hint of peach. It doesn't say the shade on the tube just 'beautiful lips' An 8ml tube of this will set you back at £12. I would say that is fairly reasonable as it isn't a sticky lip gloss that gets tacky and also rich in jojoba nourishing for your lips. I am loving this already.

Maybelline New York - Volume Express Colossal Smokey Eyes Mascara 

I have used a Colossal Mascara from Maybelline before and loved it so I'm sure I will love this one also. It plumps your lashes for a smokin hot look, ideal for your Christmas party to flutter away at the gorgeous single men... If your single too obviously. Or women. Nice thich brush with little bristles, I don't find this to be clumpy at all and makes them quite thick and dark. Used to be a favorite of mine a couple of years ago. Looking forward to trying out there newest version of it. If you want to pick one up they will be around boots and superdrug for £7.99.

Seche - Nail Lacquer in Irresistble 

This shade is just gorgeous and fab for Christmas, I am actually waiting for this to dry on my nails as I'm typing away. It is a beautiful deep cherry red. This does dry quite quickly and leaves a satin finish, smooth and ready. You only need one coat for maximum coverage but go over once more if you wish. Seche nail polishes usually last a good few days too. I really do love this shade and they are £9.95.

Yin Yang Skincare - Rich Skin Food

I love trying out new skin care products to see if they agree with my skin and most importantly to see if they do anything brilliant to my skin. This is an organic skin care moisturiser which claims to nourish and repair fine lines and sensative skin. I will try this out over the next few days and let you know my thoughts on it. 

Luckily I had this as a saved post I had an email today of Glossy Box saying these could be out of date! Not good at all, so won't be testing them out. 

Wilkinsons Sword Intuition - Naturals Razor

I saved the strangest to last, A razor? Hmm. Very different but I'm not knocking it, actually pretty pleased as I needed a new one. It looks groovy and even has a little suction cup for you to rest it in the shower. Great for me to stick up high out the way of little man. I would say this is perfect for weekends away etc too as you don't need soap/shaving gel or body wash with it so if you have forgotten any of those items you can still shave your legs last minute. This is going to sound so gross but in the winter I tend not to bother with my legs that much, extra warmth right? Some of you are thinking woah gross she has hairy gorilla legs but the other people reading this are like hell yeah that's me too! The only thing I actually miss about being single is I could let my legs get hairy and not have to worry about it as I weren't getting my pearly whites out in the cold winter months. But being in a relationship does mean from time to time you do need to make the effort so thanks Glossy box for the new razor it shall be tried and tested. Another fact is that it has 100% natural Aloe and Vitamin E inside the shield containing the razor blades that lathers up to shave and moisturise in one easy step and they cost £6.49 not bad!

I have been pretty happy with my Glossy Box this year, well I stuck it out just over a year this time with out cancelling and they even sent me a lovely email saying Thank you for that and they would put in a chocolate for me in the next box, well Glossy Box not impressed I had no free chocolate? Could have done with it the week I had last week too and past couple of days but hey ho. Diet starts in January... 

Did you receive anything different in your glossy box? Leave me links below.

PIXIE LOTT NEW AMBASSADOR FOR KISS & GIVEAWAY!

Hello lovelies, sorry I've been MIA lately, so many exciting things have been happening to me that I can't talk about right now but its took up a lot of my time! But I had to come back and tell you about Kiss lashes and nails and their new ambassador Pixie Lott.

Mental health awareness week | Depression.

Hello lovelies, a bit of a dark blog post today but I am putting my story towards mental health awareness week, I think depression is still not taken seriously enough and people think that people with depression are being drama queens etc but they have no idea how it feels to walk in our shoes.

Firstly the symptoms.

Persistent low/sad moods.

Loosing interest in the things you usually like doing.

Disturbed sleep compared to your normal pattern.

Poor concentration.

Appetite changes.

Feeling worthless.

Fatigue or loss of energy.

Wanting to die or keep thinking of death.

Reckless behavior.

Unexplained aches and pains.

Anger or irritability.

If a few of those are what's happening to you, you might have depression yourself, one thing I will say before I carry on is not to keep it to yourself, you could end up doing something stupid like I did twice, holding it in only makes matter worse. It doesn't have to be your parents or your best friend, it could be someone you don't know, anyone but letting it out helps that little bit. No one really knows what causes depression, we have an inkling but we can never be too sure. A job could be seriously getting you down, being bullied for a long period of time or short, being abused, financial problems, relationship troubles, alcohol/drug abuse, stress, health problems, family history of depression, anything can get you in that horrible rut of hating yourself and not wanting to be here. There are also different types of depression, Major depression, Mild depression and Bipolar disorder, here is my story with major depression...

credit

Firstly as some of you are aware I was abused as a child by mums second husband and by a bloke in a pub my dad used to drink in on Friday nights, not that that one went on for that long but it still sticks in my mind, like it does when something bad happens to you. I am not going to go on all the ins and out as its pretty painful and I did draft a post a while back but didn't want people to think I was some sort of an attention seeker or wanted pitty. I do not at all, all I want to do is try and forget it all and put it in the past/back of my mind in a black hole, but I think this is why I am messed up in my mind and its easy for people who don't go through suffering and pain to say 'Oh just get over it', 'It's in the past', etc etc. That is mainly ignorance too which really peeves me, I don't know when my depression started I just know growing up after the abuse stopped I always pretty much hated my self, I wasn't the ugliest kid around I had an amazing figure aged 8 to about 19 well its amazing to look back on it now anyway! But I have never been happy with my appearance and I know we all get 'ugly days' and not everyone loves them selves but I hated myself. I would look at myself in the mirror and pray to god every night for the next day to be pretty or I actually remember praying in my next life can I be a model or someone really gorgeous pleaseeee. How sad for a young girl to think those things, I don't know how the mind works at the best of times and you will have to excuse me if non of this makes sense, I am literally just typing up of my mind right now, probably not the wisest decision talking about depression it just brings back horrible memories, but I'll carry on. All of my relationships have been ruined, due to me being so insecure and jealous and some where just idiots but my highest low point started when I was about 16, I had not long moved to Rugeley I had to do my last year in school here and I hated it! I was bullied for going out with someones ex boyfriend, most of the girls jumped on the bully band wagon as I was new and why not pick on the new girl right? Most of them now try and speak to me not knowing when I went home those days I wanted to be gone out of this world, some people are just so cruel. Then after school was all done with I started going to pubs aged 16/17 as I never got asked for identification, it was sweet at the time but I started to go out all the time and drink so much, my mum told me to stop it and control what I'm doing as I'm young etc. My mum has always been really protective over me and never let me go out drinking on the fields like most kids did, go late shopping, go on trains/buses myself etc now your probably wondering how she missed this then? Well the vile man who abused me only did it whilst my mum was at her friends or on bingo nights. As my drinking was getting out of hand, not like I was an alcoholic or anything or dependent on alcohol I just drank way too much than a normal person, I was seeing someone at the time and one day I let it all out what I went through growing up and he forced me to tell my mum, so 17 years of age 10 years after I let it all out but this was purely because she told me he had abused two other girls, this broke my mum and our tight bond too to be honest, she made me go to the police and I went through it all again for nothing! The case got dropped for not enough evidence so that made me feel even more low about myself thinking people didn't believe me and the scumbag got away with it. After this I was in and out of relationships wrecking them all, I was living a reckless lifestyle but not like drugs etc, I'd never touch them I just drank and hurt people I cared about, there was times I wouldn't eat for a couple of weeks, I was just ruining my life. I finally felt happier, so I thought, with someone when I was about 18/19 he was so good looking I thought why the hell is he with me? This must be a bet or something but I know he loved me but I ruined it with my insecurities thinking he was cheating on me, if he didn't pay me any attention I thought he didn't like me and the more he didn't speak to me for a day or two the more these stupid thoughts were going around in my head then one day I find myself in his kitchen rooting through his cupboards and getting all the paracetamol out, I took a handful and slammed the cupboard door, he must have heard as he shot out of bed into the kitchen, I was leaning up against the door not letting him in but he was quite big and muscly and plowed through the door knocking me over with all these tablets, what did he do next? He strangled me to get the tablets out of my mouth, took all the pills and literally ran away! I stupidly ran after him, no idea why looking back now and found him in this massive field, it was pitch black and he ran behind me and squeezed me so tight crying how could you do this and be so selfish, now I'm thinking I don't know?! I told him my past but he never understood me, things got rockier after that but we stayed together then he started to pay me less attention and I started going out again, I started speaking to this lad and he just completely understood me it felt like I knew him for ages so I finished it with that Ex and started dating this other dude, I won't mention names as it could get a bit embarrassing. Any way this other dude I got on really well with but realised I liked him more as a friend than a boyfriend so that week relationship was over, again in and out of relationships then I got with Dan (my current partner), this bloke has been trying to get with me since I was 18! He had a girlfriend at the time/weekend shag, whichever you prefer but I have morals I said no, plus he wasn't my type at all, he kept asking me for years and I think he finally gave up until I worked in another bar he got his mate to ask me out! He was single so I thought I will give the guy a chance and go on a date with him, it went well but I still wasn't 'in' to him then a couple weeks past I seen him out and I decided to give him another chance, everything went so well for the first year then I started to feel down again, I was in the worst job ever waitressing for some tosser boss who was vile, Dan was going out at weekends and not returning! This had my mind on over drive and all my worthlessness came flooding back and this time I had never felt so low in my life, I was down for weeks. I decided to tell my mum how I felt and she recommended I went to the doctors, they said immediately I was depressed and got me some anti depressants, these didn't work at all for me (they can take up to a month) they offered me guidance and someone to talk to, but this didn't help me either I just thought she was judging me or asking me ridiculous questions so that stopped and one day after a massive argument with Dan to top everything off I went in the back garden with as many pills as I could find and nailed them, I can't remember how many now as I was pretty out of it when Dan came home from work early! He found me laying on the ground with all these empty pill packets and all I can remember is him dragging me to the ambulance and me shouting 'Leave me alone, I don't want to be here anymore, I wan't to go'. Then I remember being in hospital drinking this vile charcoal drink and getting tests done, Dan was shouting at me and rang my mum who also wasn't very happy with me either. Dan went and I can't even remember who took me home that day it might have been my dad, I'm not too sure. After all that Dan said he needed a break and this was tearing me apart, I didn't want to be here anymore but I didn't want to be without him either, my mum said St.Georges where going to get me everyone told me how selfish I was etc and Dan thought I didn't love him because I tried to kill myself but this is what people don't understand when you are so low and you hate yourself, you just want to go and you don't think about the people your leaving behind, all you have in your mind is I want to be gone. After a week Dan met up with me and he wanted me back and I got back on track, by myself and his sturn words, looking back I thought he was an arsehole being so hard on me but if he wasn't I probably wouldn't be here right now, he was been my rock and I am so lucky he stood by me. That massive essay is finished I could bore you to tears for ages!

I was very lucky to have Dan but he still doesn't understand my past and how it has effected me, his way in life is to move on and leave the past where it is, as much as I would love to do that and have a memory wipe I sadly cant, my past is always eating away at me in the back of my mind and makes me hate myself and my appearance every single day, but do you know the one thing that has made me stronger than ever and gave me the will to carry on and fight every single day? My son! Oscar born September 19th 2012 9lb and 7 oz turned my whole life around, since having Oscar I have never had one of those says where I want to kill myself, don't get me wrong I have bad days and I still have low self esteem but I'm slowly working on loving myself, having Oscar did make me feel lower on the weight front as I thought I was fat when I was a size 10/12 now being a 16, yeah thats pretty bad in my eyes and making me try and dodge every mirror I can but I am battling with loosing that every week, I will loose weight soon! But being happy is my main aim and making sure Oscar has a happy mummy and life of his own, my boyfriend has been a massive rock and my mum when she can, we can never talk about the past as it hurts her thinking she was a rubbish mum, not that any of it was her fault but I'm sure I'd feel the exact same way. My best friend Jess is always there for me too when I need to let of steam, I don't know what I'd do without these people. Some people aren't as lucky as me though and have family or friends to talk to and battle with all this by themselves, I felt lonely even surrounded by people who love me but your just in a dark place, like a grey cloud is over you always and you struggle to find happiness in anything and doubt yourself always. I admit I was selfish, you don't understand the pain you cause people when your in that state but it is selfish, think of all the people your leaving behind who love you and would do anything for you. There are people who fight for there lives daily and we try and take ours within minutes, everyone is different with depression, anti depressants might help you, a concilor may help you or just talking to anyone might help you, but there are ways of fighting back and not ending your life. 

Getting yourself in a rut, staying in bed, being anti social all the time will only make you worse not better, as hard as it is you have to fight at the early stages or you will do something you will regret. Speak to someone, go to the doctors its all confidential, I know you might feel embarrassed at first but doctors don't judge you they just try to help you, you can even ring Samaritans or look at help online. I am here if you ever want a chat, I am such a good listener and I think give good advice, but I never seem to take my own or I'd be pretty happy all the time, seek professional support, try managing your stress, quit the job that's making you miserable, change your eating habits, making healthy lifestyle changes, build on your emotional skills and challenging negative thought patterns, these can help to start with. Ignore the ignorant people to depression they have no idea what you are going through, at the end of the day the only person who understands what you are going through is yourself and we are the only people that can save ourselves with the help of our loved ones and others around us but no one can help if you keep it to yourself, open up and get your self on to recovery.

If it wasn't for my son and Dan I don't know where I'd be right now and the over whelming support I get of my blogging friends daily is unbelievable. I started blogging as an outlet and it's one of the best things I ave ever done, I find it hard to make friends as I can't trust a lot of people but the community in blogging is a beautiful thing and I am so grateful for the people I have met, you're all amazing. Don't be embarrassed if you have or had depression, think of the person you are today and the shit you went through in life only makes you a stronger person! This is not my full story as I would be here forever but main parts.

A huge well done if you got through all of that I bet you're glad its over, but as it is mental health awareness I think more people should be aware of depression and how serious it really is and be aware next time you say 'I'm so depressed' are you really? My email is at the side of my blog if you ever want to talk, I am always here, my next post will be more up beat I promise :)

xxx

My 2013 Favorites.

Hello lovelies, how are you finding 2014 so far? Are you sticking to some resolutions? I have loved reading peoples 2013 favorites and thought I would share with you all some of mine. I actually had quite a lot but narrowed it down to a few or It would be a very long post. Hope you like it,

Jimmy Choo Perfume, this was worn almost every day last year my go to perfume. It is quite rich, woody scents with depths of fruity charm which oozes confidence, mystery and seductiveness. A very modern smell for women of all ages.

Estee Lauder Night Recovery Serum, I got this sample a while back and has lasted me so long last year it has just made my skin feel amazing and always cleaned it up on bad days. Leaves my skin feeling so soft and supple I am defiantly getting this in a larger size. I was lucky enough to get extra pennies of my Grandad for Christmas but decided to get things we needed for the house with it and going to continue saving up my Boots points cards till I reach £48.00 it is alot but I think it is really worth it for the benefits my skin discovered from this. I am not far of so shouldn't be long till I have this in a larger size I can't wait! It will last me for ages though I can tell as this tiny bottle has lasted me months! A little really does go a long way. Origins Drink Up Intensive Mask Overnight, Just go to your nearest Origins counter and have a whiff of this stuff! Ermagaaad it smells so gorgeous! Very fruity with amazing ingredients inside such as Avacodo oil, apricot kennel oil and Japanese seaweed all amazing ingredients that give amazing results to your skin. Super moisture quenching, I apply mine just before I go to sleep, I don't understand why some people think this is gross? You put on moisturiser over night right? Duh. Leaving it overnight gives it chance to sink into your skin and start making your skin feel more youthful and not letting it be hydrated as throughout the day your skin does loose moisture and this replenishes it again. I have normal to combination skin suffering from dry areas to cheeks mainly and an oily forehead and nose from time to time depending on weather etc and this works a treat on my skin. I always wake up feeling refreshed within, I can defiantly tell the difference after using it just the once. Loreal 3 in 1 Purifying Micellar Water, This was by far the best thing I found in 2013 I thought I would never come across a product so amazing as Bioderma but I did! This is jsut as good and a fraction of the price! In fact it is just over £2 at the minute at Tesco's, quick run and get several right now. You will not regret it! I was a bit worried about using this on my eyes as there very sensitive and why I loved Bioderma so much but it doesn't irritate them at all. It removes thick mascara and the darkest of liquid liners without rubbing too hard. A miracle water in my eyes. Balance Me pure skin face wash, 98.8% natural origin always good to know. It doesn't really contain any nasty's and again a little goes a long way, it foams up really quickly! It gets rid of your make up or daily grime intake quickly, not amazing at removing all your mascara and such but good for everything else. I love Balance me products they just feel so pure and fresh on your face. I'm not a massive fan on the scent of this but I can live with that if its looking after my skin. Anatomicals Spray Misty for me facial spritz,  I have loved using this in the last few months of 2013. There packaging is always on par. Quirky, colourful and humorous. It has all ingredients inside to keep your skin feeling resfreshed staring, peppermint, lavender, aloe vera, witch hazel and rose. Also a couple of ingredients to keep your spots at bay. It has helped alot of my bad spot days out and controlled them. It smells lovely and fresh and when used in the morning the cold spritz really wakes me and my skin up!

Loreal Elvive Full Restore 5 Masque, This has been my favorite go to conditioner, just after one use it makes your hair feel brand new. Like you've been to the salon, its under £5 and amazing. Smells divine and I will continue to keep buying it. Yuko Anti-Frizz Leave In Conditioner, I love this! It just smells awesome, apples and clean fresh smells. Not only does this help with your frizzy hair blues it acts as a heat activation too. once you've sprayed it in thoroughly and brushed all threw (no tangling) the heat as you start blow drying enhances the effect of the oils inside. Epic product of 2013 I was lucky enough to receive this at an event I went to in 2013 and will be repurchasing this baby when it runs out! 

Rimmel Match Perfection, I have always been a lover of Rimmel foundations altering them round to all there different ones through out the years even from a youngster. I did love the 24 hour stay one and still do but this one has took over. It is fantastic coverage and buildable you can go from sheer to full coverage. They do a great range of shades I am currently using Soft beige as I like to be a little darker than my pale skin and suits me to a tee. I always get compliments on my foundations they last so long! All through a working day or mothering day anyway! MAC Studio sculpt foundation, Rimmel and Mac are my favorite foundations and so glad I have actually found 'The one' even though its now 'the two' top ones for me, suit my skin perfectly and love the coverage and how it fits on my skin. I tend to go for Rimmel for every day use then Mac on nights out or if I'm going somewhere nice or a day out shopping somewhere maybe. I love this foundation as it is luminous but not over the top with it again buildable coverage from sheer to full just depending on how you apply the product. I apply the product using another 2013 favorite and will most defiantly be an all year favorite the Real Technique brushes, I used to use the expert face brush for foundation but lately been loving the stippling brush both of them are fantastic for applying and give a gorgeous 'flawless' finish. Another of the brushes I was loving was the buffing brush that I actually use for my cream blushes just super easy to dab in the blush then apply gently to my cheeks.  Mally cover up concealer, this has been such a good find for me! After searching through rubbish tv and coming across QVC to them selling beauty finds I thought hmm this looks interesting a set of Mally products never heard of the brand but eager to try it out. So glad I did this is by far my fave concealer. Creamy texture but not cakey at all covers all my blemishes up and covers those bad boy under circles. Really great product, hitting pan so need another soon! Revlon Photo Ready Cream Blush, I think 2013 for me was lover of the cream blushes after summer I just got bessoted with them, whatever the season weather month I was using them! This one in particular. I have it in Coral reef a gorgeous coral colour with a hint of pink. SO easy to apply I use a buffing brush as mentioned above but if your on the go and don't take brushes with you just swipe abit on with your fingers! You can make the blusher sheer or full coverage also I go inbetween you don't want to look like a bad make up's barbie right. Mac Blusher in Sincere, Yeah it's a blusher but I'm a rebel and use it as a bronzer, also contouring at times as it is matte and a gorgeous color for defintion to the cheek bones or a glow of bronze when your feeling pale and miserable. Hitting pan on this and will be sad when it goes but I have far too many bronzers to get through before I repurchase, loved using this though! Eyeko skinny liquid eyeliner, I don't actually care if I have too many eyeliners when this runs out I'm buying it again! This product makes it so much easier to apply liner on the top eyelid or a winged eye effect. Gorgeous soft application swipe over the lids and your good to go lasts all day and all night and not hard work to remove. Really loved using this, I would love to branch out more with this brand if you have any recommendations at all? Gosh Mascara, I have loved using this Mascara it claims to grow your lashes, it does once you have applied the product they really do seem to stretch all out and give you a gorgeous set of lashes. A thin bristled wand that prevents clumps and really does make your lashes grow out and stand out from the crowd. Emite Lash Curler, I think I got this in a Glossybox and have loved it through out 2013 I do really want to try the Shu Emera one but this has worked wonders on my lashes and does the job, just a couple of seconds on each eye and my lashes are lovely and curved and ready for the mascara, good to go! Rimmel Apocolips, No particular favorite shade of these just the formula is amazing. Stays put a good few hours nice range of shades, affordable and just so great and versatile. My favorite lip product of 2013 in fact against the best lip find of the year, Nars Lipcrayon in Cruella! From being totally against wearing red I am now an avid brave red lip wearer thanks to this amazing find! After coming across many blog posts of the Nars Promiscious lip crayons set I knew I had to buy them and the best decision I ever made. Gorgeous mini crayons even though I wouldn't class them as mini they will last me a good darn time. Suitable for fitting in a small make up bag or handbag and they last a great amount. A matte finish, deep red giving your lips that very kissable look to them you will just have everyone staring at them. They can cling to dry patches on the lips is the only down fall but you have this with all matte lipsticks, just prep them up with lip balm and your ready to go and paint the town red with your gorgeous red lip!

Wow, text heavy today guys but hope you liked what I was loving in 2013! All amazing products and worth checking out. 2014 really did come round so fast but I love a fresh new year to make more amazing memories and take everyday as it comes and new adventures! Just enjoy and embrace it, when your having a bad day just remember there is always someone out there worse off. Don't take things or people for granted and just enjoy your life and be a better you. If you have done a 2013 favorites I'd love your links below. Another Happy New Year and thanks again for all your support on my blog, my readers who have stuck by and continued to read and new readers Hello and welcome hope you enjoy the ride of my journeys and beauty finds. I truly love you all and my blog wouldn't be the same without you, enough soppiness! Have a good Monday beautiful people xxx

SELF LOATHING TO SELF LOVING

SO, how can someone who has everything they ever wanted and more be sad, lonely sometimes even and really low? Depression and anxiety is why. Those together are a living nightmare, demons in your head constantly fighting between not giving a crap to overly thinking and worrying about everything. I have the most beautiful boys who mean the absolute world to me but day to day I feel like I really don't deserve them, they deserve someone so much better, stronger. My fiancé, we have been through some shit but always come out fighting, he has his demons I have mine we work through them together, thats what makes us a team. But how can I believe that he truly loves me if I don't even love myself?

GOODBYE 2016 HELLO 2017

I know I'm not the first to say but I swear this year has been the quickest by far, I've blinked and it's gone!

CELEBRATING WITH CAKETOPPERS

Hello lovelies, so before I talk about how gorgeous these cakes were from Caketoppers I thought I would let you all know what we've been up to. So we had a gorgeous week in Belamadena as I mentioned in a previous blog post, we had the most amazing week but as soon as I came home I become so ill, I have been bed bound for three days which meant I missed out on Oscar's birthday treat to Drayton Manor that I wanted to film and keep for him, which also meant I was so ill for his birthday too! I felt like the shitest mum alive honestly! I've never cried so much this weekend due to being ill and feeling like the worst mum for making Oscar have a crap birthday, although Oscar said it was the best birthday ever bless him! Dan has the worlds worst feet from holiday and has been walking around like Tina Turner but saved the day and took Oscar to Drayton manor thankfully and Oscar was at school most of the day Monday and I did push myself to go into town and let him pick his own birthday cake and now I'm feeling better we can finally play with all his new toys!

Clothes Show Live 2013

Hello my lovelies, how was your weekend? Did anyone go to the Clothes Show? If so leave me links below I'd love to know your experience. Me and my friend Amie decided to go on the Last day as we thought we would get some bargains and boy did we! I have never been before and always wanted to. We got platinum tickets as we wanted a goodie bag as well as good seats. The seats were phenomenal literally right next to the stage, the goodie bag though I didn't think was as good. Inside we got a bag of special k crisps, cat food?! A bottle of natural lemon, lime and mint flavored sparkling water, samples but the decent thing in there was a wrist band that got us 10% and 5% of a few stalls and you got a book which showed you times of shows etc and more about the stalls. Pretty special us going on there 25th Anniversary also, here are some pictures of the catwalk. I will confess now the pictures are not perfect, far from it. We was super close, the lighting wasn't the best, my camera settings have completely messed up and its brand new and no idea how to change them. So I used my Iphone which is normally great for pictures but the models were walking far to fast for me ha, I seriously need to invest in a good camera. 

My look for the Show...

Totally forgot to do an OOTD of me and Amie, I opted for an LBD I borrowed of the mother with black tights teaming up with my Office Leopard print boots and furry New look leopard coat. I think leopard print and red really go well together so I wore my new fave lip product, Nars - Cruella Lip crayon. 

Amie wore a black vest, tartan midi skirt and a black leather jacket looking gorgeous as always.

There was some amazing performances on stage as well as Cat walking some amazing clothes. I loved the Zumba one, the synchronised swimming one wasn't really my cup of tea but was cool, there was like a theatrical performance that was beautiful. Also Scot Innes performed and if I'm honest I can't remember him at all but he did have a lovely voice. He was a bit cringey with the audience but the young girls loved it. The models are so gorgeous, men and women. Ripped body's to die for and looked amazing! They must work so hard. I was thinking the whole time wow I want your body... Also naughtily admiring the mens torsos abit but the boyfriend doesn't know that. So shh haha. The young girls where screaming like One Direction where performing bless them. I loved quite a bit of the clothes shown, a lot of tartan and sparkles. There was a gorgeous gold sparkly dress I adored and these black sparkly boots, I could never pull them of but didn't stop me oooing over them. To me £40 for the over all thing is worth it and not at the same time, our seats where amazing but the goodie bag wasn't and going on the last day of the clothes show means you don't get too see so many celebs as you would on the first couple of days but the sales are amazing! I am defiantly going again next year but think I am just going to get a normal ticket. I would really recommend going the last day purely for amazing bargains but if you want to see celebs I would go the first two days.  

Here are the amazing bargains I purchased.

I'm just going to show you some pictures and explain a little as I am going to be trying some products out and will be doing more in depth posts about them individually. But if there is anything you want to know more about just ask in the comments below lovelies. 

So Susan, Guess how much I got all this for? Nope your wrong, £5!! 5 flipping pounds. Massive bargain, I've heard of this brand before but not a lot and thought why not try them out for a fiver?! I would be mad not too wouldn't I? Firstly the eye shadows are not me at all so that will be given to my Nan, she loves her eye shadow bless her, I think she will love those colours. Just had a quick look on there website and one of the products there are worth £25.00! Wow, I shall be testing these out though and will tell you my opinions. I'm loving the look of the 8 hour cheek stain and that's worth £25! What I liked about this brand too is they have no sulfates, mineral oils, phthalates, triclosan. There cruelty free and 82% water based. Really excited to try this brand out. 

Ciate - Mini Mani Month Advent Calendar, I was super gutted I didn't have a beauty calendar this year then stumbled across this yesterday. How much I hear you, £10. Yup Ten whole pounds, I know your jealous I can see your green eyes, how amazing?! Also the exciting part is ripping ten days worth open all in one go. Already the polishes are so beautiful not one I wouldn't wear. They will fit lovely with the rest of my nail polish collection but I'm going to ask my boyfriend to build me a bigger nail polish shelf as there's no room in the Inn for the others at the minute on my old shelf. I have way too many polishes but that's cool, who doesn't love pretty nails? 

Laurens Way Tan, I love me some tan, hate my pale ass skin. But seeing as I don't go out at all with my friends at the moment if I do it is very rarely, I haven't tanned in ages as I don't see the point in tanning just to be at home/work/popping to town. So I haven't tanned in ages but when I last tanned I went to a salon and they used Laurens Way on me. I absolutely loved it, so when I seen this for £9 thanks to my wrist band giving me 10% off I had to get it. Two 100ml bottles of tan, dark and medium and a prep and maintain moisturiser I think that's an amazing deal. Fab for me as I don't need a massive bottle with not going out all the while and is a perfect gift for tan lovers out there, they have these Christmas gifts on there website Laurens Way for only £15 and I think at the moment they have 20% off so worth checking out if your interested. I will show you a before and after picture of me using this in the new year. 

These are FREE goodies I got with a yearly subscription to Company for £12!! This was an amazing deal for me as you know I love my magazine freebie posts and for £1 a copy I thought this is awesome, got to get me some of that! They also had Cosmopolitan for £12 and Elle and Red were £15 still amazing value. An amazing value to then get free goodies made me a very happy Paigey. I have never tried Bare Minerals so excited to try out this Bronzed and Brilliant Kit a three piece collection for a sun kissed complexion and an Espa Super Active Lift & Firm Moisturiser. To help lift and strengthen your skin containing collagen to make skin look younger, smoother and supple. The only lines that are worrying me at the moment are crows feet popping up, especially when I smile. 

Models Own, All this for £10. I know crazy right, I was buying this simply for the limited edition models own nail polish with the clothes show logo and to get five extra polishes thrown in with a couple of make up extras and heat magazine, I was super happy. Seriously couldn't believe all the amazing bargains we got. I'm going back next year purely for all this goodness. There wasn't a lot of variety of nail polishes to choose from, maybe all the best colours went as it was the last day but I love the ones I chose. I picked up Green flash, Fluro Orange, Bronze Rage, Fuzzy Peach and Pinky Brown. I shall show you the colours more in future blog posts. 

This was a POUND! Outstanding, for company and cosmopolitan magazines with a bag of goodies, I may have ate a chocolate also. I think the loo roll on the go was abit odd, but yeah. Small tube of toothpaste handy for weekends away or a holiday, like wise with the foundation. You can't complain for a quid can you.

Another £10 bargain! I love a Barry M polish, not keen on the green but may come in handy for a nail art session. Two little dazzle dusts, I love these. You didn't choose any of these items just randomly picked and received in this cute neon pink bag, how cute is it?  I got nail varnish shades Silver, Limited edition green, Pink Iridescent, Retro red and Lilac foil. With a Lip Gloss, Intense Black Mascara 3 in 1, Gold glitter stick, Super soft eye crayon in No 5 and a Khol pencil in 16. 

I have always heard people talking about this stuff and never bit the bullet and purchased any, with a pretty big price tag attached to it. But this Moroccan Oil purchase was a lovely £15 price tag which also contained a shampoo and conditioner, its called there repair kit. I was sold, its a 25ml bottle of oil but I heard this lasted people ages so I will see if this does benefit my hair in anyway and If I love it I will know whether to purchase the bigger bottle or not.  A good little investment to try out and experiment with. 

I also purchased a home teeth whitening kit for £30 which I thought was really good, the women were very good at selling things to me and Amie the were dentists and had perfect white teeth so that helped also. You use it every day for half an hour till your happy with the results and the bottle lasts you three years in the fridge, I asked about what if you have sensitive teeth etc and she said it actually helps them, she let us try some out and it tasted nice of peppermint and didn't feel uncomfortable at all, I can't wait to try this out, mainly for my bottom teeth as there discoloring due to my unhealthy obsession with tea and coffee. 

Hope you enjoyed my post and got a feel of what the Clothes Show Live was like, if only you could see it from your own eyes. I really didn't know what to expect but I loved it and defiantly going back next year! All ages were there, men and women even children. There was stalls for beauty, make up, hair, vintage/indie clothing, jewelry stands, clothing for all sizes, food bars there were lots. I sadly didn't bump into any Celebs but there were a few there. My arms were killing me from all my bags though so I couldn't wait to get back to the car in all honesty. We drove there and got a shuttle bus to the Clothes Show and I really did enjoy it and so did my friend. I would really recommend going the last day if you want massive sales. I am going the last day again next year I just hate crowds and people in my way but I managed it, I kept my cool. Again if anyone did go please pop your links below. 

Thanks for reading.